Co-Worker & Friend – Can You Be Both?
There are two schools of thought on whether or not you should be “friends” with your co-workers.
On one hand, you typically spend more time (at least while you’re AWAKE) with your colleagues at the office than you do with your family. You work together, have lunch together, attend professional development seminars together, and get chewed out by the boss together. It’s no wonder that, when it comes time to invite people to your annual Super Bowl party, your list is comprised of “friends” you know from work. Not only do you know your colleagues well, but after dedicating 40 (let’s be honest … 60) hours to your job and trying to ensure quality family time in the evening and on the weekends, there’s little time left to make (new) friends OUTSIDE of work!
On the other hand, you are at the office to do your job, not to “make friends”. Consider some of the awkward positions you could be placed in if you allow your relationships to become more personal than business: you could report to your “friend” making you feel more relaxed at work and not trying as hard; your “friend” could report to you making it more difficult to deliver negative feedback and allowing other colleagues to question any positive appraisals you bestow on that person due to your friendship; and finally, if you are in a leadership position (or … even worse … human resources), you will likely be in a role where you know sensitive information you cannot share with your “friend”. What if the confidential information is ABOUT your “friend” — and your “friend” wants you to share what you know?!? Now that’s an awkward position!
I have found that I cherish a few of the relationships I have with “friends” in the office, but I have to know where to draw the line. I have made it very clear with them that my job comes before them, and that their job should come before me (after all, isn’t that what a REAL FRIEND would want!?!) After we agreed to this critical boundary, it allowed us to enjoy one another’s company, which provides a breath of fresh air during a tough day in the office.
Comments welcome! Please share the most akward position you’ve been in due to having a “friend” at work and what you did to (hopefully) solve the issue!